Network

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recs

A handful of recs

Recs for KJ Charles' England series, Utopia Avenue, Soulmate Goose AU, LEGO Botanical Garden and LEGO Natural History Museum, The Long Walk, Oxford Time Travel Universe, Dredge, and Miss Marple, here at my dreamwidth.

Entry tags:

recs

A few recs

Seven Yuletide recs (plus one non-Yuletide rec) at my journal. Fandoms are Blackadder, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV), Flower Fairies - Cicely Mary Barker, LEGO Botanical Garden and LEGO Natural History Museum, Moby Dick - Herman Melville, Piranesi - Susanna Clarke and (unofficially) Raffles - E. W. Hornung.

Inlaws and not inlaws

1. Dear Eric: In 2020, my now-wife and I were engaged. My mother is a nurse and has asthma and was deeply hit with mental and emotional stress from the pandemic. She would not attend most wedding planning events and would always be concerned with germs, wearing an N95 mask and keeping her distance.

My wife had a completely opposite reaction to the pandemic. It was more of a nuisance to her. In her eyes, there was no threat. My wife began to develop a feeling of abandonment from someone who was supposed to be her mother-in-law. She opened up to me about how much she was hurt, and I told her it wasn't my mother's fault and that she was just petrified by the pandemic and it was the only thing she could do.

My wife told me I was taking my mother’s side. Hurtful messages were sent by my wife and my mother just shut down the relationship and blocked her.mMy wedding was in October 2021. My mother braved the crowd of 155 people and attended without a mask. I was so proud of her. But my wife was angry about her presence.

My wife and I are still fighting occasionally about this issue, and the spats are becoming increasingly more intense. She still says extremely hurtful things about my mother often. My mother’s mindset was extreme but considering her working at a nursing home and having asthma, it’s totally understandable. That isn’t believable, according to my wife.

I am writing for guidance to understand how to solve this mess. Was I in the wrong for how I initially reacted toward my wife? I just don’t want this to destroy my marriage.

– Hurting Husband and Son

( Read more... )

*******

2. Dear Eric: Our son and his girlfriend of 24 years got married by a judge. It was a civil ceremony necessary to get him on her health insurance.

He approached my wife and me and said, "we're not into social media.” I did not glean from this that he meant we should post nothing at all. To share the good news with my friends, I did post one photo. Late the next night he texted us to take it down, saying "we asked you directly not to do this." I replied, I'm sorry, I didn't understand that I was not to post anything at all.

I feel bad because my son seems to feel he can forbid me from sharing this news with my friends. Many are longtime friends from church who have known my son for decades. It seems to me a little pushy for him to forbid me to share with my friends what I feel is good news. He seems to want to downplay it.

Should I not have made the post and leaned more toward caution? Should I have interpreted "we're not into social media" differently? I welcome your advice about how to perceive this situation and where to go from here.

– Deleted Post

( Read more... )

*************

3. Dear Eric: My children are grown. Two live locally and one super local (our home!). One is married with young children, and we see them often, spending most holidays with them. (In-laws are unpleasant, to say the least.)

Our middle child is in a relatively new relationship that has become pretty serious. We planned a beach vacation with my in-laws (our kids’ cousins, aunt and uncles) for Thanksgiving, which everyone seemed excited about when we booked the house.

Now the middle child will come with his girlfriend for just a few days and then fly to her family for the actual holiday. He has been noncommittal about Christmas because they may again travel to her family. When we got married, we alternated holidays with our families or stayed home. We were careful not to favor one side over the other. I really like his girlfriend but am sad that he seems OK with spending all holidays with her family.

Any suggestions on how to broach this subject without sounding whiny or critical? If it matters, she only recently moved to our area.

– Sharing Holidays

( Read more... )

Entry tags:

recs

Yuletide recs (part III)

One last batch in before reveals! Nine recs, all on my journal. Fandoms include:

The Long Walk (2025)
Carrie
The Odyssey
Philadelphia Flyers RPF
Crash (1996)
19th Century Poets RPF
True Detective
Jaws
The Blue Castle

Please - stay the hell out of your grown children's dating lives!

1. DEAR ABBY: My son has completely given up on dating. Whether it's blind dates, casual meetings with members from our church or dating events I pay for and make him go to, he still hasn't found a wife. At 36, he should already have children and a partner, but despite the best efforts of my wife and me, he remains unmarried.

Our son is 6 feet tall, athletic and godly, and he has his own apartment and clears $100k a year. Despite all this, he still doesn't have a wife. It's even reached the point that he gets angry at my wife and me for pressuring him. During a few of the blind dates we set up for him, I watched from afar, and each time he was stood up! How can I ensure my son gets a wife before I grow too old? -- DAD LOSING HOPE IN NEW YORK

( Read more... )

****

2. Dear Care and Feeding,

I have a wonderful son in his early 20s. He is intelligent, articulate, has a great sense of humor and taste in music, is very responsible (he’s even managed to save a sizable chunk of cash at a young age), and is very handsome. I realize I have a biased view here, but I get comments all the time about what a wonderful young man he is. In school and employment, his teachers, co-workers, and supervisors have always raved about him. I couldn’t possibly be prouder. There’s just one problem…

He is struggling socially, and more specifically on the romantic front. He’s not a drinker or partier, so he doesn’t engage in a lot of the typical activities that others in his age group do, and that leaves him going to work, then coming home. He’s lonely, unhappy, and has no confidence in himself. The one time he attempted to date in high school, he was met with some rejection, and he just hasn’t put himself out there again. I see how much it’s hurting him to see others his age dating, getting engaged, and even married, and I’ve heard him make comments about how he’d like those things for himself as well. I know that there would be lots of women who would love to date a young man like my son. I encouraged him to set up a profile on a dating site, and he did, but nothing has come of that either. I don’t want to meddle or interfere, but I hate to see how hurt he is.

We have talked over and over about how he will need to push outside of his comfort zone (our house) if he wants to meet someone. He has had professional counseling for social anxiety, which I’ve encouraged and helped facilitate. He’s so miserable being alone, and I want so badly to help him, that I’ve considered trying to set up a date for him myself, but I don’t want to be THAT mom. I love my son, and I want to help him find his happiness. What should I do here? How can I help him? I can’t help thinking that getting him out on one date to break the ice would maybe be just what he needs. Or maybe this is all none of my business? It’s hard to ignore when he lives in my home and shares with me how much this is hurting him. Any advice is greatly appreciated!

—Maybe Meddling Mama

( Read more... )

These people have no class

1. DEAR ABBY: My 13-year-old son was getting off the school bus. His friend was in front of him. My son thought it would be funny to take his friend's water bottle out of his backpack and drop it on the pavement. A few days later, my son got sent to the principal's office, not because he was in trouble but because the parents had called the school to complain about their son's scuffed water bottle and wanted it replaced. They asked for $23.

I wrote a check and was tempted to add a snarky comment, but I didn't. Yes, my son should keep his hands to himself, but the water bottle is still functional. My son apologized. Am I living my life wrong, or is it OK that they just invoiced me like that? -- UNSURE IN ILLINOIS

( Read more... )

***

2. We own a cabin across the street from our rural home. We rent it out occasionally. Our latest renter was the son of a neighbor who was in town for the holidays. We welcomed him and gave him our “friends and family” discount. On his first day there, we noticed that he had plugged his car into the charging station in the cabin’s garage. I understand his need to charge his car — but not at someone else’s expense. His behavior struck me as rude and presumptuous. Your thoughts?

( Read more... )

****

3. My husband’s relatives are visiting from another country over Christmas. The two adults speak English fluently, but they haven’t taught their children — ages 3 and 5 — a word of it. This means that I will not be able to communicate with the children at all and they will be frightened by everyone they meet at holiday events since they won’t understand anything. The parents claim they haven’t taught their children English because they will learn it in school. But they planned this visit a year ago! So, because of their laziness, I will be excluded from many conversations in my own home. I see no point in learning their language since there is no language barrier among the adults. This is not the children’s fault, but their parents’ behavior is annoying and deliberate. How should I handle it?

HOSTESS

( Read more... )

***

4. A friend invited me to her New Year’s Eve party again this year, and again, she asked me to bring a dish to serve. A potluck! The food she offers herself is undistinguished. Granted, being a hostess is demanding, but my feeling is that if you can’t manage to feed your guests, you shouldn’t invite them. I would never ask mine to supply the repast. I am offended at the thought of buying and cooking food for her party. How can I decline her request to bring food but nevertheless attend the party?

GUEST

( Read more... )

****

5. Dear Eric: I own a few cars that I park on the street in front of my house. Some new toddlers and preschool kids are learning how to ride a bike. They circle constantly in front of my house instead of the house they rent next door to my house.

The neighbors park all over the street, and do not use the driveway. They have several cars and live in a cul-de-sac. They are not watching or teaching the kids how to ride or even stay out of the road as cars come through. But that's another issue. My question is, do I have any rights as a homeowner and county resident to ask the renters to stay away from the area in front of my house and the cars parked in front? My concern being the kids might hit my cars, and it's actually annoying to see them in front of my house for hours. People think these are my kids and think I'm not watching them.

What can I do?

– Neighborhood Watch

( Read more... )

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asking eric

(no subject)

[I think this is the same situation as in

conuly's last post but with more details]

Dear Eric: My husband and I have been together for 11 years. He has one daughter, 43, with two young children I adore and have been close to until last summer when the volcano erupted.

Since the beginning of our relationship, I have made every effort to be loving and generous to his daughter. She acts entitled and ungrateful to me.

It’s my fault for not standing up for myself early in my joining the family. For example, I wish to be thanked for gifts, babysitting, making holidays happen, having them over for dinner and so on.

She doesn’t seem to care about me at all. Her father will not stand up to her and seems scared of her.

Last summer I blew up at her in a text and let her know how I feel about her behavior.

I called her a manipulative user and let her know my truth which is certainly not her truth. I apologized twice in two letters for being so harsh, but she will not forgive me, allow a repair or let me see the grandkids. Her father will not help. This is hurting our marriage.

I miss the little ones terribly and cried for months about this. Yes, I am in therapy and hoping my husband will go to couples counseling together. Funny, he is a psychotherapist. I would be most appreciative if you can offer us your help.

— Missing Family

Family: Ask yourself what you have the power to change and what you need to accept, even if you don’t like it.

For instance, you probably should accept that the relationship with your husband’s daughter is not serving either one of you right now. And it’s probably because her relationship with your husband is not healthy. It’s likely that some of the frustration you’re feeling stems from a desire to change something that’s outside of your control.

You write that your husband won’t help you. If you want him to compel his daughter to accept your apology, that might not actually be useful. Unfortunately, even though your relationship with the grandkids was, perhaps, healthy, the other relationships supporting it are less so.

So, what can you change? Well, you’re doing the most important first step by working on yourself in therapy. If your husband won’t go to couples counseling (which he should), ask him why and ask him how he proposes to help you both communicate better.

Current Music: ”Lili Marlene”—Gaylord Carter

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Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow: Sky Captain and the Extinction Agenda, by thebookishcat.

Fandom: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Pairings/Characters: Gen; background F/M (Joe Sullivan/Polly Perkins; past (one-sided?) Female OC/Joe Sullivan), OCs
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Length: 12,448; 19 chapters
Content Notes: aftermath of torture, combat injury, period-typical ethnic stereotypes (Asiatic bad guys), genocidal scheming, gory battle trophies, gruesome Mad Science
Creator Links:

thebookishcat

Theme: Amnesty, Action/Adventure, Old Fandoms, Pre-AO3 Works, Research, Small Fandoms, Underloved Works, Worldbuilding

Summary: The authors(1) didn’t really provide one, so here’s mine: Joe’s old buddy, fighter pilot Captain Rock Masterson, is taken prisoner by air pirates—and darned if Rock isn’t Polly Perkins’ cousin, giving her sound reason to gatecrash the adventure! But little does Pirate King Dantes Blackbeard the Third suspect that his scheme for world conquest is being puppeteered by something even more horrific…

Reccer's Notes: (In which Full Metal Ox betrays an affection for dated media.)( Continue. )

Is it Great Literature? Or even necessarily Good Writing? No—but the authors know exactly where in Storyland they’re supposed to be, and I’m the niche audience it’s for; they’ve fried up a tasty sack of potato chips.

Fanwork Links: Sky Captain and the Extinction Agenda, by

thebookishcat on Fanfiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2108561/1/

Entry tags:

recs

Yuletide recs

10 Yuletide recs in 8 fandoms: Valdemar series, the Coldfire Trilogy, Cthulhu Mythos, Dimension 20: Escape from the Bloodkeep, The Goblin Emperor series, Rivers of London, Type Help, and Yami no Matsuei

https://harukami.dreamwidth.org/816011.html

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JKR offset donations

Sometimes I still get comments and kudos on Transfigurations and my other Harry Potter stories.

Of course I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, fandom belongs to the fans, and the outpouring of love and work and time that created the fandom was ours and remains ours. On the other hand, I don't like the ongoing link to someone who has traded in a career as an author for one as a full-time pro-hate activist.

I don't want to take the stories down. I don't want to orphan them. I just want to be able to take some pleasure in them again.

So starting with 2026, I'm making donations to https://transgenderlawcenter.org and https://give.thetrevorproject.org in honor of fanreaders. That way when the titles come up in my email, I'll have a nice, warm feeling knowing that they're connected with people who are doing something positive for the lives of trans people.

(Thanks to

terminally_underwhelmed for recommending the organizations.)

Entry tags:

recs

51 recs in 34 fandoms

Getting my recs in before the wire!

I received not one but three lovely fics, all of which really captured the spirit of their respective canons:

( Created For Me )

Other stories I enjoyed:

( Yulerecs )

Entry tags:

recs

25 recs in 16 fandoms

I've posted a recset with commentary over on my DW. 25 recs in these fandoms: Batman: Wayne Family Adventures, Bend It Like Beckham, Billy Elliot, Dimension 20, Doctor Odyssey, Heated Rivalry, Jeeves & Wooster, Lord Peter Wimsey, The Lottery, Mad Men, Murderbot, Persuasion, Point Break, Rivers of London, Sports Night, and Worlds Beyond Number.

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!mod

2026 Inkingitout sign up reminder

( You're about to view content that a community administrator has advised should be viewed with discretion. )

Wicked 2

Wicked 2 (my local cinema finally showed it!) was great, but a little too long. Since it's the sadder half of the story, it's obviously less enjoyable.

But at least they love each other! <3

Entry tags:

recs

20 recs in 24 fandoms

My gifts - 3 recs in 2 fandoms:

Nantucket Trilogy - S.M. Stirling, Ring of Swords - Eleanor Arnason

Other recs - 17 recs in 22 fandoms:

Amadeus (1984), Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Alias (TV), Ancient History RPF, The Angel of the Crows - Katherine Addison, British Airways "May We Haveth One's Attention" Safety Video, Classical Greece and Rome History & Literature RPF, Coldfire Trilogy - C. S. Friedman, FAQ: The "Snake Fight" Portion of Your Thesis Defense - Luke Burns, Hamlet - Shakespeare, Imperial Radch Series - Ann Leckie, Jorinde und Joringel | Jorinde and Joringel (Fairy Tale), Lord Peter Wimsey - Dorothy L. Sayers, Miss Marple - Agatha Christie, Mulan (Disney Animated Movies), 莲花楼 | Mysterious Lotus Casebook (TV), Numinous World Series - Jo Graham, Der Ring des Nibelungen | The Ring of the Nibelung - Wagner, The Philosophers Series - Tom Miller, Stargate Atlantis, Stealing Fire - Jo Graham, Troades | The Trojan Women - Euripides

Current Mood: tired

Entry tags:

Wednesday Reading Meme

What I Just Finished Reading

Eric Poulin, Here Comes the Pizzer: The Found Poetry of Baseball Broadcasts:

lysimache got me this for Christmas, so I have now finished twelve books this year and I nearly didn't finish this one. Stupid migraines. Anyway, this is baseball broadcast found poetry. The poetry skills on display here are of varying quality -- like, only a couple of people are actually doing anything unusual with the text -- but I still think it's charming.

What I'm Reading Now

Comics Wednesday! Time to probably destroy the universe. We are instructed to read Ultimate Endgame before Ultimates.

( Sorcerer Supreme #1, Ultimate Endgame #1, Ultimates #19 )

What I'm Reading Next

A new year! I have no idea what to read. Once again, I need fewer migraines.

Entry tags:

Heated Rivalry: Heated Rivalry season 1 gifsets by ilyarozanovs

Fandom: Heated Rivalry
Characters/Pairings: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Scott Hunter/Kip Grady, Rose Landry, Yuna Hollander, David Hollander
Rating: Teen
Length: 6 gif sets
Content Notes: some flashing lights.
Creator Links: ilyarozanovs on tumblr
Themes: canon LGBTQ+ characters, enemies to lovers, mutual pining, slow burn (romantically)

Summary: None given. Six gifsets, each containing 12 frames.

Reccer's Notes: These are especially good gifsets, one for each episode. They include split-screen gifs across frames, which I always find very impressive. A set of gorgeous montages for the episodes of season one.

Fanwork Links: Heated Rivalry season 1 gifsets, or backup link, or a direct link if not logged into tumblr (thanks, punk!) direct link

(no subject)

https://bsky.app/profile/dreamwidth.org/post/3mbc45ysznk2k

Last call for holiday bonus points! Promotion expires at midnight GMT, less than 12 hours from now. -K

[contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/dreamwidth.org/post/3mbc45ysznk2k

A few more recs

You will find them here.
One is Yes Minister
Two are Georgette Heyer
and three are Lord Peter Wimsey.

I didn't actually mean them to come out like that, it just happened!

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What I Did in 2025

Reading
The Spellshop - Sarah Beth Durst
Lady Eve's Last Con - Rebecca Fraimow
Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
Sword Crossed - Freya Marske
Murder by Memory - Olivia Waite
Can't Spell Treason Without Tea - Rebecca Thorne
A Pirate's Life for Tea - Rebecca Thorne
Tea You at the Altar - Rebecca Thorne
The Kamogawa Food Detectives - Hisashi Kashiwa (translated by Jesse Kirkwood)
The Restaurant of Lost Recipes - Hisashi Kashiwa (translated by Jesse Kirkwood)
A Psalm for the Wild-Built - Becky Chambers
The Archive Undying - Emma Mieko Candon
Alchemy and a Cup of Tea - Rebecca Thorne
Death in the Cloisters - Valentina Morelli (translated by Edward Maltby)
Skysong - C. A. Wright
Queen Demon - Martha Wells
The Enchanted Greenhouse - Sarah Beth Durst
Menu of Happiness - Hisashi Kashiwa (translated by Jesse Kirkwood)
A Prayer for the Crown-Shy - Becky Chambers
Death at Noon - Valentina Morelli
The Tainted Cup - Robert Jackson Bennett
A Drop of Corruption - Robert Jackson Bennett
Brigands and Breadknives - Travis Baldree

I got all of these from my libraries, so yay! Also I was catching the bus a lot and I turned mobile data off for all social media so I was motivated to read more.

Watching
Murderbot (Apple TV+)
Lots of YouTube

Playing
Farm RPG
Pokemon Trading Card Game Pocket
Cats and Soup

Projects
A little more work on my static site generator.